Intentions from a Place of Contemplation

I live very much in my head. On Christmas Eve I sat down to dedicate some time to sorting through the chaos there. Today, on New Year’s Eve, some themes emerged, reflections and intentions in one:

№1. Learn acceptance.

· Just be, and let things be.
· Make time for solitude, in a sort of acceptance of its power balanced by a reaching out to the community.
· Recognize what you love about a person’s soul.

№2. Do one thing every day that scares you. (Find new fears.)

· Stop worrying about what isn’t. Focus on what is.
· Work on yoga poses that scare you. This is the year for handstands!
· Talk to people. All of those times you imagined chatting with the person in front of you in line, the barista, whoever it may be — actually talk to them.

№3. Continue to be open-minded, only even more so…

· To intergenerational friendships.
· To unexpected loves and lessons.
· To abandoning narratives in favor of assigning your own values.

I never thought myself particularly concerned with living up or fitting in to expectations. That’s not the kind of life I imagined for myself nor the kind of life I’m living. I’m not immune to expectations; none of us is, and plenty of people live more wildly than I do.

But in the contemplation of how I’m living and why, I find peace. It’s work, not over and done with, as though I’ve reached some sort of realization and now I’m set for life. It’s an inconstant forward motion, an effort to separate oneself from one’s emotions and lived experiences to attain some objectivity of your reality and use that information, that reflection, to make your choices—whether they’re helping you to fulfill your purpose or simply toward the how.

Some additional reflections on 2019:

· I started the year by getting a tattoo.
· I wrote about coming to terms with insecurities this past spring. Those turned into self-assurance, and that has turned into confidence that’s still and will always be blossoming into poise.
· I recognized that bad things happen indiscriminately and that all humans feel pain at some point in their lives. I discovered that empathy can bring pain but that this pain has a purpose. I considered the difference between grief and mourning.
· I noticed for the first time that many of my and others’ actions are bound up in fear, and that viewing them under another light can be freeing.
· Gradually I understood that understanding how others think, and what motivates them, not only is a motivation of mine but has the power to change.
· I made a breakthrough, that acceptance is not a letting go of hope.

And intentions for 2020:

· Deepen relationships.
· Write more.
· Appreciate rituals.
· Take a meditation class.
· Keep finding what I can soften.
· Be kind. Be loving.

Happy New Year. How wonderful is it that we get to live another day?